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【繁體】高敏感是種天賦2實踐篇與眾不同的內在力量

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KingStone

【繁體】高敏感是種天賦2實踐篇與眾不同的內在力量

Name: 【繁體】高敏感是種天賦2實踐篇與眾不同的內在力量
Brand: KingStone
SKU: 3136006001
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★搶先歐美、全球首發！！伊麗絲．桑德 高敏感二部曲★

讓高敏感族擁抱自我的暢銷書《高敏感是種天賦》唯一新作。
給全世界15億高敏感族、35億內向人，
釐清人際界線、自我保護、愉悅做自己，以勇氣面對生活的「最強實踐指南」！

2017年高敏感族自我檢測量表引爆全台100,000 次瘋傳熱潮後
伊麗絲。桑德特別送給台灣讀者的心靈小禮！！
●【內向指數】【敏感度檢測】兩份量表了解更真實的自己

(https://www.suncolor.com.tw/2018hsp2/quiz.aspx)
●14個自我肯定咒語，這才是原來的你

在這個重視外向、鼓勵社交、資訊豐富的現代社會，
內向，是個不被鼓勵的個性特徵，
高敏感族的思緒、情緒波動總是被外在牽動。
●龐雜的資訊一直來，接收不了，究竟該怎麼辦？
●腦海裡的小劇場，有辦法停止它嗎？
●是不是真的要完全拒絕社群網路？
●什麼才是真正的快樂？
●與人發生衝突時，該怎麼辦？

丹麥心理治療師伊麗絲．桑德，時隔7年，累積更多諮詢輔導案例後，
針對高敏感族、內向者常遇到的問題，提出最實用的建議。
● 接收資訊：5分鐘思緒整理；消除清單；利用耳機、眼鏡自我保護……
● 內心想像：別過度鑽牛角尖；沒人可以預測未來……
● 人際衝突：把思緒化作文字；適時尋求外援；給自己回應的時間……
● 個人信念：出原則清單；暴露療法；異見表達練習……
● 追求快樂：找到對的工作；聚會前的準備；認同社交的優點……

高敏感、內向都是與生俱來的本質，你可以因為它擁有更多的信心和勇氣。

內容試閱

與眾不同是值得驕傲的事

我很高興看到近年來，內向型人格特質和高敏感越來越為大眾所接受。但在過去，大眾對於高敏感族並非如此的看待方式。

一九四六年，我的祖父來到車斯特（Tversted），那裡是丹麥最北邊的一個沙丘區。他為車斯特湖區改頭換面帶來新貌，他建造了許多步道和橋樑，設置休閒長椅，把這裡塑造成一個熱門的旅遊景點。他是個個性外向的人，每每在湖邊散步時都會與人閒話家常，甚至還會邀對方來家裡小坐。對他來說，讓到訪的每個人覺得賓至如歸，到園區管理員鄰近湖邊的家中休憩、喝杯咖啡是很重要的事。多數人欣然接受他的殷勤招待，包括在鄰近斯基文鎮（Skiveren）擁有度假別墅的熟人。

我的祖母則是內向的人。對於和她不熟的人而言，她很文靜緘默。我記得她和豢養的雞隻們有種非常特殊的情感關係，她在走進雞寮時會用一種鳥語和牠們說話，空氣中充滿和諧親暱的氛圍。當有意外的訪客來到她和祖父的住處時，你可以感覺到她的笑容有多不自然。某一回，那時祖母身上穿著髒兮兮的圍裙，一頭亂髮、正專心地洗著碗盤，前任丹麥總理延斯‧奧托‧克勞（Jens Otto Krag）忽然蒞臨家中客廳。當然了，我祖父對貴客的來訪感到萬分欣喜。

內向，並不是錯

我們都非常喜愛祖父，他是那種很自然地就能吸引大眾目光的人。有部分是因為在許多場合裡，他都樂於大方地起身發表意見，他對每個人都能美言稱讚。他需要人群的陪伴，也總能自在地和陌生人搭上關係。但另一方面，我們常認為祖母是悲傷、不開心的。這些年來，她飽受關節炎的折磨，情況最嚴重時甚至無法隨意地轉頭，也因此必須接受截然不同的生活方式，這是她不願意樂見的。可惜的是，我們竟然沒人能看出並發覺，她是怎樣強迫自己待在這樣一個格格不入的環境中，終日面對她不願也沒有精力去應付的過多社交活動。

我祖父對教會活動很感興趣，也曾擔任車斯特當地的教會職務會長多年。因此，當我接下第一個教區時，他特地南下來到多士蘭（Djursland）──對他來說，這是非常重要的大事。祖父給了我許多的建議，例如我應該在牧師公館的花園裡擺設幾張長椅，好讓會眾們可以在前來散步時，順便享受坐在長椅上閒聊的時光。但是相反地，我在花園和教堂院落間豎起了籬笆。因為我是個內向的人，由衷渴望能擁有自己的寧靜花園。當我申請多士蘭教區的牧師工作時，那時我還不知道自己屬於內向型人格的個性。但我很快發現，教區的會眾對牧師應該外向的期待，是我能力不及的地方。

在我之前的上任牧師，習慣在會眾過生日時忽然現身道賀「哈囉，我是牧師。生日快樂。」當我沒有按照慣例這麼做時，大家對我的抱怨快速地蜂擁而至。但對我來說，要我忽然在某個場合現身是非常非常大的挑戰。如果要我刻意去參加非熟人的慶祝聚會，我會變得笨拙又僵硬；還沒離場，就已經耗盡我好幾天的能量了。在該教區服事的那幾年，即使我創立了喪慟輔導團或是如何關愛我的牧群，總是會有言論批評我沒參加這人或那人的慶生聚會。

當我發現內向型人格這個概念時，真的覺得這是天上掉下來的禮物。我了解到自己並不是懶惰、也不是哪裡做錯，我就是個內向的人，我的長處並不在這裡。這個新知給了我自信以及離開牧師工作的勇氣，踏入嶄新未知的領域，當起一名心理治療師。

尋找自己真正的長處，肯定它

我在讀了艾融博士對於高敏感族的描述之後，發現它補充了我對自己身為內向個性的了解，讓我更清楚地認識自己。我對自己總是跟大家不一樣的羞恥感徹底地消逝了，我好開心原來還有其他人和我一樣，也相信那些認為我愛發牢騷、自私自利或懶惰的人是錯看我了。

後來，這也成為我的使命──幫助他人藉由學習自己的人格類型，來獲得更大的自信、了解自己的弱點和認識自己的力量。

即使在今日，內向型的人與高敏感族仍經常被視為是不合群或傲慢的，但我衷心希望這本書能幫他們好好整理自己的內心，更期待能讓更多大眾了解真實的他們。

為思緒創造一個喘息的空間

外向的人即使待在充滿刺激的環境裡也是充滿活力，甚至更能達到最佳的工作成果。例如，和內向的人相比，他們會喜歡邊聽著大聲的音樂邊工作；內向的人則是得在安靜的環境中才能達到最佳工作成效。

要置身在一個紛擾程度遠超過你所能負荷的環境中是很不愉快的。或許你有過像卡斯柏一樣的經驗：

我們已經多次收到關於公司調整人事的訊息，這次老闆又丟了一堆代辦事項給我。我心裡真的很想大叫「我不想再聽下去了！」然後衝出會議室。當然，我還是乖乖地留在座位上，但接下來的幾個小時後心情都很不穩定。～卡斯伯，42歲或是像瑪麗亞的例子：

當我受到太多刺激時，像是瘋狂採買後，我會寫下過程中經歷的所有事，然後再講給某位朋友聽，或是單純地靜一靜，好讓我能心平氣和地處理這些事。但在這之前，我會很難溝通。如果在這樣的狀態下還得跟人社交，我極有可能會亂說話。　～瑪麗亞，27歲

每個人都需要知道怎樣程度的刺激能帶給自己最佳的身心狀態。對內向人和高敏感族來說，這個門檻通常會比外向的人還要低。但重點不是想著要怎麼避開這些會帶來刺激的事物，而是要找到最適合自己的最佳刺激度。正因為擁有比大部分人還要低的門檻，最大的挑戰就是如何保護自己別受太多訊息干擾。

5分鐘思緒整理

在現代的環境，每個人每天起床一睜開眼就會從周遭環境、網路社群，接收到大量的訊息與刺激。因此適時地讓訊息暫停串流，給自己時間與空間來整理這些情報是很重要的。

以下這個小活動能幫助你整理思緒：

●選個舒服的姿勢坐在椅子上，手邊準備一本筆記本。背部保持挺直，頭、頸、脊椎成一直線。微微地搖晃身體，放鬆雙肩，緩解身體的緊繃感。

●在手錶上定時，設定五、十、十五或二十分鐘。我自己是使用「Insight Timer」（冥想計時器）這個手機應用軟體。它不僅能引導冥想，也可以當作碼表來計時。下載這個免費軟體後，時間到時它會有悅耳的提示聲。

●閉上雙眼深呼吸：深吐一口氣，你可以在吸氣時將雙手高舉過頭、呼氣時放下雙手來加強輔助。一邊注意呼吸一邊讓它找到自然的節奏。留意呼吸如何帶動身體的律動，專注在手、腳和臉部等肢體末梢上，留心當你聚焦在這些部位時該處的變化。

●如果你腦中浮現的念頭是較表面的，請放下它並將注意力轉回到呼吸和身體上。但如果浮現的思緒和你必須做的某個決定有關，或是你最近才剛經歷但尚未能消化整理的經驗，那麼請多給它一點時間。讓它繼續延伸。或許，你可以趁此機會完成決定或是因此對得到更深的了解。

重要的是，在思緒延伸之間也要記得稍作休息，將注意力轉回身體和呼吸上。如果你使用我推薦的Insight Timer來計時，可以設定提醒鈴聲。當你的注意力從呼吸或身體上轉回到剛剛的思緒時，可以更有效地評估這些思緒是否有效或僅是毫無意義的思考。如果在過程中，某些念頭會不時地浮現或是只是原地打轉沒有進展的話，將它寫下來並想想可以跟誰討論，然後放下它，將注意力轉回身體和呼吸上。

你會發現這個將注意力放在思緒上並從外審視的方法，並不如想像中的容易。但它是可透過練習而慢慢進步。舉例來說，你可以利用等待的時間做練習。這比你查看電子郵件或是滑社群媒體來得好，它能給你擴展某些點子的機會，幫助你準備好做決定，或只是單純讓你的感官暫時避受刺激干擾，好好地休息一下。

我幾乎每天都會做這練習，並發現它能振奮我的精神。

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