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Jingdong book

谈恋爱之前谈什么

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韩寒ONE一个APP大赞女作者、《萌芽》人气专栏作家李元首部短篇故事集

孙甘露、张定浩、路内、张晓晗感动推荐!


Content Description

韩寒ONE一个大赞女作者、《萌芽》人气专栏作家李元首部短篇故事集,收录《三文鱼披萨》《闲着也是闲着,不如养只狗》《谈恋爱之前谈什么?》等十三个在韩寒ONE一个APP、《天南》《萌芽》等发表的得到广泛赞誉的故事,别具上海风情。


Author Description

李元,90后作家、编剧。毕业于上海戏剧学院戏剧影视文学系,2014年前往挪威Bergen University College学习应用戏剧。ONE一个APP大赞女作者,《萌芽》人气专栏作家。在ONE一个APP发表《闲着也是闲着,不如养只狗》等,编剧儿童音乐剧《林中之王》,参与制作戏剧工作坊《Shoe》《Blanket》。


Comments

这些故事里的人物都是日常生活中无处不在的普通人,但他们却在这本小说里焕发了光彩。作者以怪异荒诞亦或黑色幽默的方式,用属于她自己的语言,细述她所观察到的世界。

——孙甘露

李元的文字里有她们这一代年轻写作者特别的冷峻,但这种冷峻在李元这里并没有造成自我的耽溺与封闭,恰恰相反,她转向对他人琐碎生活的体贴,并汇聚成一个个戏剧场景里流荡冲撞、多姿多彩的人声。

——张定浩

大度,稳重,秀丽。在李元的小说中能看到很多经典作家的纹理,而她统御着属于她的叙事方式,向着某种风格迈进。她毫无疑问可以挑起更为强有力的题材。

——路内

小时候趁大人上班,偷穿妈妈的衣服,对着镜子画上口红,踩着高跟鞋,把脸用腮红涂成猴子屁股。小孩子扮大人,谁都做过,天真而愚笨。但是每次翻照片的时候却非常喜欢这些瞬间。那时候太想长大了,总想用大人的眼睛看一看世界。可是长大了才知道,少女时眼睛装下的东西有多重要。很高兴的是,李元小师妹把扮大人时的眼睛寄存在了这本书里,这应该是每个渴望长大女孩的时光机。

——张晓晗


Catalogue

三文鱼披萨

闲着也是闲着,不如养只狗

谈恋爱之前谈什么

下流社会的两朵交际花

海鸥

赵氏孤儿

第一批骑摩托车的人都死了

亲密

不要说话

吴先生去买早餐了

到布鲁克林上班

露天电梯

等到深夜

后记


Book Abstract

夏日的闷热已在初夏初见端倪,但这个端倪是很舒服的,就在梅雨季节来临之前的一两周,大概是这个城市里的这个季节中最舒服的几天了,一切空气污染在傍晚落日时分都显得势单力薄,大自然用深厚的底蕴让怀里的孩子忘记捣蛋,虽然它知道一切都只是暂时的,但它还是制造出了眼下诗意的温度,穿过一些弄堂时还能闻见空气里弥漫着的油烟味,风徐徐吹来。一切的目的在此刻好像都失去了意义,而此刻的目的就是沉浸在这片落日的余晖里。从教学楼出来,这一天好像才算开始。我和大头翻着各自的通讯录,想找几个哥儿们出来,但大头说,这么好的天气,见的都是男的,太浪费了。他觉得我认识的女的比他多,叫我看看能叫谁。

前两年我要是扪心自问,到底害怕什么,我可能会说是失败。现在问我,就会说最怕无所事事了,简单形容就是正事没干一天又过去了,不可能主动学习,听情歌也没有共鸣,心里面是空的。

为了避免这样的情况发生,我参加了学校的许多活动,结识了一些人,大概我长得和大头都还不算差,通讯录里的新名字也一个接一个地增加,新认识的那些女的有时还会主动找上来。

我把手机扔给大头,他随便点了名字就拨出去了,我和他坐在校门口的台阶上等。大头只打了一通电话,但是来了俩女的,一个是晓夏,大眼睛长头发外加一对双眼皮,另一个中长发的我不认识,不怎么讲话,老是低着头。她们俩走在我们后面,我们跟两堵墙似的,时而听见她们窃窃私语,然后呵呵笑几声,我看了眼大头,他装得跟真的似的,直挺挺的不弯腰也不驼背,一步步认真地走。我们晃晃悠悠地走到最热闹的一家烧烤店,一串接一串地烤,最后都不知道吃进肚子里的肉是什么动物的。

中长发的那个跟我们不熟,话也不多,还不小心把饮料洒在了我裤子上。她急忙翻包找纸巾要替我擦,找了半天也没找到,我说算了算了别找了。她马上停止了寻找,掏出手机不知道在看什么。我想应该是天气热的缘故,我火气开始大了,大头踩了我一脚,压低声音说,别搞得跟个女的似的。我叹了口气,问服务生买了包纸巾。而晓夏就不一样了,晓夏之前跟我们认识,喝了几口酒就放开了,开始扯星座。现在女的最爱扯星座了,好像自己就是圣母玛利亚,把脚下的每一个子民都安排好,该干吗该睡哪该爱谁,她们一目了然。以前刚认识晓夏时,我还以为我们真能发生些什么,后来在学校学着学着谁都忘了谁,今天看到她还是老样子,热情又奔放,和大头也有说有笑,我忽然明白,这样的女孩对谁都是这个样。走在夜晚的路上,大头和晓夏也交换了电话号码,顺便把社交网站也加了个遍,我就渐渐走到了那个不声不响的中长发女孩身边。她边走边看手机,我问她在看什么,她把手机放回包里,面无表情的,也不回答我的问题,不知道她在想什么,我立马觉得自己变成了那种不能够引人注意的弱势群体,这种感觉很不好,我故意放慢了脚步,走到了她身后。不出两个礼拜,中长发就和大头在一起了,据大头说,他觉得晓夏认识的男的太多,所以比较也太多,太难追。我说我不太喜欢这个中长发。大头问为什么。我说,这种女的太敏感想得太多,待在一起太麻烦,除非长得好看点,还可以考虑。大头说,这算什么

呀?我喜欢不就行了吗?再说最近新认识的女的也不多。后来我在校园里碰到晓夏,讲起这件事,她一开始也表现出了惊讶,之后又扯到了星座,从她的观点来看,大头和中长发的星座属于那种既可以在一起,也可以不在一起的星座,不会有激情,但一直这么拖着也行。我说,星座书读傻了吧,大多数情侣都是这个样。

她眼睛一转,皱皱眉头,转身走了。

因为大头的缘故,中长发经常到我们寝室来,她安安静静地坐在桌子前。我也没地儿去,只能厚着脸皮和他们一起窝着。我对他们说,你们就当我不存在,该干什么干什么。中长发说,现在这样挺好的。我说,你别客气。到了饭点,大头拉起中长发的手,消失在门口,听着他们远去的脚步声和笑声,忽然发现我无意中又陷入了自己最讨厌的状态——无所事事。我打开衣橱,准备找件干净衣服套上,一开橱门,发现里面乱哄哄的,我那些衣服横七竖八地倒在里面,上面倒是整整齐齐挂了几件五颜六色的衣服,但不是我的。我打电话问大头,我衣橱里的衣服是谁的?电话里闹哄哄的,断断续续中听出来那些都是中长发带来的。我跟他说,真的,我真不喜欢你这女朋友,烦不烦人啊。大头也不管我高不高兴,没等我说完立马挂了电话。到了晚上,门开了,中长发站在门口,我问她大头人呢?她说大头和几个朋友出去了。

我跟她说,这里也没有大头,你来了也没用。我觉得自己像是在撵她走,不太礼貌,就搬了把凳子让她坐。我忽然想到那些五颜六色的还挂在我橱里的衣服,就跟她说,这橱是我的,你的衣服挂我这里也不太合适,要不帮你挪到大头那儿?

她看看我说,那些不是我的。

但大头说是你的啊。

她打开橱门拎起一件绿的,你看,谁会穿这个?

古代人。我说。

这不就对了,这是我们社团的道具,借你的地儿放放。她轻松地说。

今天不带走,明天我就扔了。

听到这个她总算抬起头认真了起来,瞪着眼睛看着我,好像在怀疑这话是我说的还是她的幻听。想到她是大头的女朋友,以后可能还要一起混一段时间,我勉强笑了笑,开玩笑的,你放吧。

她说,不会久的,过几天就演出了,演出完你一辈子都见不着这些衣服了。

别别别,你想放多久就多久。我说。

然后我们就聊起天来,从他们的社团开始聊起,东扯西扯,聊了会儿小说、电影,还有几件最近刚发生的好玩的事情,我发现她是那种对影院里放的电影几乎不感兴趣的女孩子。然后我给她讲了个鸭子爱上直升机的故事,一只鸭子因为爱上了直升机,天天等着它飞回来,无怨无悔。每当我给其他女的讲这个故事的时候,听完她们都嘎嘎地笑,唯独中长发面无表情,除了有些严肃。我说你是被感动了吧,她点点头。我顺势又讲了几串饶舌的爱情理论,她好像听得很认真。她的发梢在月光和灯光的交织下晃荡晃荡,让我想到了地中海的风,我浑身不知道哪里为之一颤,酥酥麻麻的。她那天说我讲得好像还真是那么回事,就算她和大头没这么聊过。我谦虚地说,爱情理论最多的时候,就是爱情经验最少的时候。中长发虽然没有晓夏那样的自来熟、热情以及阳光,她是那种得混熟了才跟你袒露心扉的女的,也就是那种深藏不露型,但这种女的一般还没跟人混熟,就被那些晓夏型的女的捷足先登了。那晚我们闲扯了很久,看着谁都有点扯不动了,大头也没回来,中长发也就悻悻地走了。但我一开橱门,看到那堆道具,觉得她又没那么可爱了。

到了后半夜,我被一阵铃声吵醒,一看是大头打来的,但讲话的是晓夏,她电话里急匆匆地说让我快点去公园里一酒吧把大头接回来,没等我听清她就挂了电话,背景闹哄哄的,根本不像夜里。我随便套了件衣服就往公园赶去,大老远就看见大头坐在公园的长椅上,长椅边上杵了根路灯,明晃晃地照着大头,大头的眼睛是肿的,脸上泛着红晕,像一个长不大的中年人。我问他,你干吗?他抬起眼看着我,你干吗?我又问他,晓夏人呢?他忽然带着哭腔说,我失恋了!这种语调外加他满嘴的酒气,让我觉得有点恶心,我把他从椅子上扶起来,一点点拖回了我们的房间,我猜他在路上就睡着了。第二天一早,他可怜兮兮地说,晓夏压根儿就不喜欢他。我指着镜子说,照照去,你早该有点自知之明了。他一跌一撞地对着镜子理了理头发。大头和我过去犯了同样的错误,我们都以为一个女孩对你热情就是喜欢上你了,我觉得这种女的,大概是对谁不热情,那才是喜欢,对你热情,那是常态。


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