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Jingdong book

误解心理学:不被误解和不误解别人的高度和方法

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误解心理学:不被误解和不误解别人的高度和方法

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换位思考,放下戒心,学会宽容,精准表达,努力打造无误解的人际关系。
不要因为误解,轻易放弃你在意的人,你专注的事!
掌握在任何情况下都能减少误解的进退之法与取舍之道。
扫除容易引起误会的障碍,用真诚融化每个人心中的坚冰。


Content Description

我们在日常生活、工作或社会交往中,经常遇到误解别人或被别人误解的情况。误解确实是痛苦的,但又是人生中难以避免的。即使双方都很努力地想让对方明白自己的真正意图,却经常事与愿违,不经意间误解就这么发生了。
本书全面列举了我们在生活中经常遇到的误解情况,详细分析了我们误解他人或被人误解的原因,并针对这些情况,提出了多种可以帮助人们减少误解的方法,相信读了本书,你在人际关系上会有自己的进退之法与取舍之道。
Author Description

陈南,心理学咨询师,热衷于心理学方面的研究与探索,在情绪管理上有自己独特的见解,一直致力于心理、情绪管理、励志类图书的写作。其文笔细腻,观点独到,语言精炼,作品深受广大读者喜爱。
Catalogue

第一部分 不懂得化除误解,这辈子你就输定了
第1章 鸡同鸭讲——为什么我们容易误解他人或被人误解
我觉得应该如此——无法走出的自我角度陷阱
不会是在给我挖坑吧——太过强烈的自我保护意识
他们都是那样说的——受到他人言语或环境的影响
这还不简单,我还能不明白——断章取义,不求甚解
看他那样就知道是怎么回事——凡事先入为主,难以摆脱的首因效应
第2章 这些,都是误解和被误解带来的伤
路越走越窄,人越活越孤独——人际关系变得越来越紧张
孤军奋战难有大成就——不拒绝与他人合作
会错意,做错事——把时间和精力浪费在一些不必要的人和事上
情绪低落,脾气急躁——影响心情,产生不良情绪
第3章 消除误解必须遵循的8大准则
换个方向,站在对方的角度看待和分析问题
放下芥蒂和警惕之心,给予他人信任
懂得包容就会减少误解和被他人误解
要学会分析,停留在表面最易令人误解
多一些沟通,就会少一些误解
谦虚谨慎,不懂要敢于开口问
放下自我,接纳不同的意见
言行合一,做一个值得他人信赖的人
第二部分 知行合一,用对方法误解自然少
第4章 进退有余,注重把握与陌生人相处的“度”
注重形象才能给人留下好印象
找一找双方身上的共同点
大方一点,越是犹豫越让人多想
温水效应:不要太冷漠,也别太热情
最忌讳的是以貌取人
真诚一点,不要刻意表现自己
让对方成为话题的核心
第5章 尊重为先,别因误解关系增添朋友间的误解
没事多聚聚,不要有事才联络
即便关系再好,也不能口不择言
开玩笑也要把握好尺度
答应别人的事就一定要做到
永远别轻易否定朋友的建议
控制好情绪,有话好好说
背后议论朋友会让你失去朋友
第6章 以心换心,恋人间不误解贵在交心
试探只会让对方离你而去
猜心的游戏,你玩不起
拒绝冷战,有问题要好好沟通
收起指责,多给对方谅解与鼓励
开诚布公地说出你的想法
向你的另一半敞开心扉
第7章 移情换位,与上司零误解相处
觉得自己低人一等,就难以有效沟通
懂得拒绝的艺术,才能减少不必要的麻烦
不要轻易说出抱怨不满的话
要与上司保持适当的距离
及时汇报和请示,才能确保执行的正确
看到上司就躲,会让他觉得你对他有意见
要敢于提出自己的正当要求
第8章 循序渐进,融入到同事中就能减少误会
你可以有个性,但是不能太张扬
别总是把“我”挂在嘴边
切不可轻易评价他人
帮助同事也要讲究方法
别忘了对帮助你的同事说声“谢谢”
不要跟某个同事走得太近,也别离得太远
第9章 以人为本,关心关怀是化解下属误解的良药
放低姿态,才能被下属接受
批评也要讲究方法和技巧
走近下属,鼓励下属多开口
换一种口气布置工作任务效果会更好
少说模棱两可的话,多用确定性的词语
第10章 推心置腹,与客户间的误解会更少
收起功利心,从客户的角度想问题
不跟客户争输赢
学会倾听顾客的话
时刻保持微笑
让客户自己决定,而非你帮助他做决定
业务成交后也不要忘记多联络
第11章 大爱无疆,爱心让家庭中的误解无处藏身
管住自己的嘴,少说气话
别总是把“分手”“离婚”之类的话挂在嘴边
再忙,也要抽出时间来陪陪家人
学会交流,不要觉得爱人能明白你的一切
换一个角度去看对方的不满和抱怨
别把家看成情绪的垃圾桶
第三部分 铸就无误解的人生高度
第12章 站在更高的高度看待人生
尊重他人,更是尊重自己、尊重生命
人生没有那么多计较,需要的是学会接纳
适时放下自我,才能拥有最真实的人生
接受差异,人生因你我不同才更有意义
敞开心扉,你才能拥有开放的人生
记住,站得高、看得远,才能拥有不误解的人生
第13章 立品立德,用良好的品行驱散所有误解
倒空自我,时时保持谦逊的心态
放下内心的计较,欣赏才能发现人生的美好
不断学习,培养增强自我的理解能力
得了理也要学会饶人
勇于做一个负责的人
少一点私心,多一分爱心
在关键时刻帮朋友一把
心怀感恩,感谢生命中的一切
与人为善,帮助那些需要帮助的人
任何时候都别忘了换位思考
Book Abstract

第一部分不懂得化除误解,这辈子你就输定了
第1章鸡同鸭讲——为什么我们容易误解他人或被人误解
我们容易误解他人或者被他人误解是有一定原因的,误解不会无端出现,它源于我们心理的一些固有特点。比如,自我、多疑、从众等心理都容易导致误解的发生。想要避免误解,就必须认识自我,找到自己误解他人或被他人误解的根源。
我觉得应该如此——无法走出的自我角度陷阱
在以往的人生中,我们都有过这样的经历,我们以自己的角度果断地去判断一件事情的性质或者结果,其结果却并非如我们所想。有时候,你跟别人说一些事,自己觉得已经说得很清楚了,但对方却误解了你;另外,在与他人交往的过程中,我们对别人所表达的意思、期望也会产生不一样的理解。事实上,这是由于人生经验或者个人见识不同造成的感受程度的差异。
“我觉得应该如此”,这种固有的思维在很多人身上都存在。让我们来看看以下这些现象,你是否遇到过?
1.我们冬天逛街时会遇到那些穿着裙子和丝袜、搭配短款棉袄的女生,很多人对这么冷的天穿得这么单薄的做法表示很不理解,会想“难道不觉得冷吗”,但是这位女生却说:“我觉得这样穿很时尚啊,最重要的是显得腿细。”
2.很多人给朋友、家人挑选礼物时,更多是以自己的喜好为依据。他们都有一种想法:“这个东西这么漂亮,我的朋友(或家人)肯定也会喜欢的。”
3.很多人在生活中不免有一些困扰,比如,自己明明觉得事情就应该是这样的,大家应该都支持自己,可是为什么大家在这件事情上好像都不太看好自己呢?
我们都知道,类似“我觉得应该如此”的固有思维模式,会给我们造成很大的困扰,无论生活上还是工作上。然而,生活在这个世界上,在人与人的交往中,误解如影随形,不是我们被别人误解就是我们误解他人。误解,就像一颗毒瘤,无时无刻不影响我们的人生,甚至在侵蚀我们的人生:为我们通向成功的道路增添了一些不必要的阻碍。也正是因为如此,许多人对此充满了抱怨,并由衷地从内心深处发出了这样的呼喊:人生是否可以少一些误解。
很多人混迹职场顺风顺水,而有的人却因为种种误解无法与人融洽相处;有些人与人交谈很顺畅,有的人却觉得十分困难,很难与他人达成共识。
为什么?因为有的人在说话、做事、思考问题时有两个流程:第一,站在我自己的角度,这件事是什么性质?第二,站在对方及旁观者的角度,这件事是什么性质?
……
Introduction

无论是在生活还是工作当中,我们总会遭遇类似的问题:我说的话本没有恶意,为什么会被人当成恶语?为什么我将自己的想法表达清楚之后还是有人误解?为什么我很容易先入为主,做出错误的判断?
以上种种困惑道出了我们人生中可能会遇到的几大障碍,也明确了一个呼之欲出的问题:为什么人生当中容易产生误解?
误解,从字面意义上理解就是错误地理解,在心理学上是指认识与对象的不一致,即行为人某件事情的认识错误,以至于意思表示与内心意志不一致。通俗一点来说,就是一个人说的话或者做的事在另一个人那里形成了错误的认识。
误解对我们人生的影响无疑是非常大的。无论我们是误解方还是被误解方,都会受到影响,这种影响也是多方面的。
对外部世界的误解容易让我们变得越来越内向、越来越孤独,影响我们的个人情绪,不利于我们与他人的交往,会造成我们人际关系的紧张,以至于难觅知心朋友。
在工作中,误解会造成同事之间、上下级之间的沟通不畅,不利于信息的及时传达,不利于计划或者工作的落实,最终也会损害个人甚至整个企业的利益。
在家庭中,误解就像一枚定时炸弹,随时可能会让家庭关系陷入僵局,给本该温暖的亲情关系蒙上一层阴影。
所以,想要成就更好的人生、追寻更幸福的生活,我们必须学会消除误解。
消除误解,需要我们用心沟通,跟自己沟通、跟家人沟通、跟朋友沟通、跟陌生人沟通、跟客户沟通、跟同事沟通。所谓的用心,就是真心实意、胸怀坦荡,真诚地表达出自己内心的真实想法,不让自己的想法被他人歪曲,也不歪曲他人的想法;所谓的用心,就是多发自内心地去关心别人,用真情融化每个人心中的坚冰,让误解也随之消散。
只要能够做到这一点,我们就会发现,其实人生本可以不必有那么多误解,我们的人生也能够因此而变得更加美好。
本书从误解的影响、找对方法消除误解、打造无误解的高度人生三个方面入手,从人生的各个方面着手,帮助读者朋友认识到误解给人们的生活带来的影响,并找到合理的办法消除误解,让误解不再成为人生的障碍。

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Brand Jingdong book
Brand Origin China

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