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Jingdong book

回话的艺术:回话模板+微动作

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1.面对上司的询问,如何回答显能力?
面对不想做的事,如何婉拒不伤人?
面对朋友的误解,如何解释不委屈?
面对无理的指责,如何回击更理性?
……
“回话”是每个人都需要专门学习的学问,工作、生活与社交中,九成的人不会回话。
2.如果上司跟你说:“你脑袋有病啊?现在这种做法不流行了啦!”
如果客户投诉说:“媒体报道你们的产品有瑕疵,我要退货!”
如果亲友总是说:“你的同学都结婚生子了,你看了都不会羡慕吗?几时吃你的喜酒?”
“高明的回话”需要很多技巧,一旦回错话,就可能让场面尴尬!
3.话术、眼神、微动作……高明的回话源于娴熟的技巧!学会本书的60套回话模板,从此告别语塞和词穷,让上司挺你、朋友懂你,跟谁都能聊不停!
Content Description

“回话”是每个人都应专门学习的学问!
一旦回错话,就可能让场面尴尬,甚至让自己长期的努力付之东流!
本书将教给你:
·4大回话原则
比如,用好“三点法则”,把握回话的“量”。
·3秒内分析提问
比如,分析动机,听出对方的话外音。
·重点的一句话和重要的一些话
比如,先说什么,后说什么?掌握回话的逻辑。
·针对性回话搞定“特殊”问题
比如,面对不想回应的话——巧妙转移话题。
·变被动回答为主动掌控
比如,围魏救赵:反客为主,变答为问。
·善用书面回话与肢体应答
比如,书面人称,让每一句回话都有所指向。
……
Author Description

李文勇,知名作者,人力资源管理工作者。

Catalogue

回话的意义:回话让沟通得以延续
积极的回话让沟通更融洽 2
正确的回话让谈话得以延续 7
以问代答占据主动 11
渐进式回话赢得人心 15
回话的原则:不可不知的四大回话原则
真实原则:有一说一,别虚构也别说谎 20
直接原则:明确回答,别顾左右而言他 24
具体原则:详略得当,别模棱两可或刻意隐瞒 28
适量原则:用好“三点法则”,把握回话的“量” 32
回话前分析:3秒之内分析对方的话
先搞清楚对方提出的问题 36
分析动机,听出对方的话外音 40
有时倾听比开口更有效 44
依对方的性格选择回话方式 48
回话要考虑对方的知识水平 52
回话要尊重对方的身份 56
回话要注意场合和环境 60
回话的准备:在心里拟订计划书
像准备弹药一样准备回话 66
先说什么,后说什么?这是回话的逻辑 70
直奔主题VS闲话铺垫 74
直接表达VS婉言相告 78
好消息VS坏消息 82
结果VS过程 86
大事化小VS小事化大 90
回话的技巧:感染力与吸引力的结合
列数字,具体有力最能说服人 96
用对比,准确传达利害关系 100
打比方,让深奥变得通俗 103
作比喻,把平常话说得更形象 107
玩笑话,让轻松感油然而生 111
玩幽默,让大白话变得有深度 115
好收尾,给交谈画上圆满句号 120
回话的关键:重点的一句话和重要的一些话
抛出关键词,一开口就抓住对方的心 126
一句话协商,给异议准备足够的余地 130
转变思维,换个角度回话 134
随机应变,根据问题的现状和实质来回话 138
殊途同归,别忘了你的立场 142
特殊的问题:有针对性的回话搞定“特殊”问题
面对擅长的问题——卖弄聪明“死”得快 148
面对尴尬的问题——即使拒绝也别让对方难堪 153
面对不懂的问题——坦然告知,不知为不知 157
面对上司的提问——尊重对方,简单明确 161
面对答不上来的问题——转移话题,另起炉灶 165
面对攻击性的话语——保持冷静,借力打力 169
非语言沟通:比声音重要10倍
肢体语言:小心动作“出卖”你 174
掌控声音:控制好你回话的音量 178
注意语调:语调不同,回话效果相差甚远 182
把握语速:因人而异,保持最佳语速 186
眼神交流:眼睛也会说话 190
保持微笑:笑容是锦上添花 194
情感认同:不只是冰冷地回话 198
察言观色:随时调整你的回话 202
思维控制术:不是被动回话,而要掌控沟通
回话软硬:取决于你的感情色彩 208
无效回话:“打哈哈”也有好效果 213
用好停顿:让句意来个180度大转弯 218
制造悬念:给人思考的余地 223
以退为进:先认同对方,再回敬对方 228
围魏救赵:反客为主,变答为问 232
系铃自解:绕个圈子,让对方去体会 235
点到即止:得饶人处且饶人 239
书面回话:互联网时代,玩转网络交流
速度:没有什么比及时反馈更重要 244
对应:如果可以,应有问必答 248
称呼:恰当称呼拉近彼此距离 251
人称:让每一句回话都有所指向 254
诚信:约定的时间一定要准时 258
明确:回复电子邮件要简洁明了 262
Book Abstract

适量原则:用好“三点法则”,把握回话的“量”
面对别人的提问,尤其是上司的提问时,有些人总是表现欠佳,往往紧张不安,三言两语就回答完了。回答完之后,又觉得回答得太简单,内容太少,对自己的回答不满意,于是,心里想着:如果再给我一次回答的机会,我肯定不会再这样回答了。
与这种回答“太少”的情况相比,有些人在回话时往往喋喋不休、啰啰唆唆,回答了很多,却没有回答到点子上,让人听了感觉不知所云。显然,回答得太少或太多,都不是好的回答。回答得太少,不仅会影响回答的质量,还会让人误以为你对他的提问不重视,轻描淡写地敷衍;回答得太多,往往什么都想说,最后什么都没有说清楚,细枝末节说得太多,反而掩盖了重点,这样也会影响回答的质量。
反例┡
曾有一位啰唆先生接到妻子来信,妻子问:“你什么时候回家?”
啰唆先生给妻子回了一封信,说:“……我将于下个月回家,具体的日子不是初一就是初二,不是初二就是初三,不是初三就是初四,不是初四就是初五,不是初五就是初六……不是二十八就是二十九。”他之所以不写“三十”,可能是因为那个月没有三十吧!
一封可以简写为“我下个月回家”的书信,却啰唆了一大段,我想他肯定是想多写一些字,让这封书信看起来内容“饱满”一些。但如果在回答别人问题时这样啰唆,那真的会让你的回答失去魅力。
很多人回话之所以啰唆,往往是因为情绪激动或思维混乱造成的,在表达的时候前后颠倒,条理不清。所以,在回话时一定要清楚自己的回话重点,拣重点的话说,才能改掉啰唆的毛病。
正例┡
1948年,牛津大学邀请当时英国的风云人物丘吉尔来演讲,主题是“成功秘诀”。这场演讲在3个月之前,就开始炒作了,各界人士十分关注,牛津大学的学生更是对演讲的内容翘首以待。丘吉尔会以怎样的方式进行演讲呢?
终于,演讲这天到来了,会场上人山人海。世界各大新闻媒体都到场了,人们准备洗耳恭听这位大政治家、外交家、文学家(丘吉尔曾获得过诺贝尔文学奖)的成功秘诀。
丘吉尔上台之后,做了一个让大家停止鼓掌的手势,清了清嗓音说:“我的成功秘诀有三个:第一是,绝不放弃;第二是,绝不、绝不放弃;第三是,绝不、绝不、绝不放弃!我的演讲结束了。”说完他就走下了演讲台。
会场整整安静了1分钟,1分钟后,会场爆发出经久不息的掌声。
丘吉尔的演讲十分简洁,这是因为他抓住了自己演讲主题的重点,抓住了自己最想说的话,而且通过三句“绝不放弃”,来强调在成功过程中坚持的重要性。这就是一个十分精简的回话,而且回话的质量不会因为它的内容少而显得苍白、干瘪。
在回话时,为了避免回话内容太少或过多,可以参考以下几点:
◎掌握回话的“三点法则”
康飞向同事文慧打听:“听说你一直在上英语口语课,学了多少次?效果怎样?”
文慧说:“没多少次,效果一般!”
这样的回答内容太少了,简直就像没回答一样,还会令人觉得文慧并不想透露口语课的信息。如果文慧说:“我去过8次,每周上2节课,总共要上24节课,目前我已经可以用外语和外教简单地交流了。”这样的回答内容就丰富多了,效果会大不一样。在这个回答中,文慧的回答主要有三点:一个是我上过多少次课,一个是一共有多少节课,一个是我学得怎么样。这三点,足以让康飞满意。这就叫“三点法则”。
“三点法则”中的“三点”指的是三个重点信息,也就是说,当你回答别人的问题时,一次回答最好给别人传达三个重要信息。这个信息量不少也不多,刚好合适,太多了别人一时接收不完,可能会遗漏。
◎避免一些不良的说话习惯
在表达时,有些人有一些不好的习惯,比如,喜欢重叠用词,“为什么为什么为什么”,本来一个“为什么”就可以了,他们却连续地用多个为什么。还有人在应答别人时,喜欢说“好好好”“好的好的”。这都叫滥用叠词,会显得累赘,其实说一个“好”或“好的”就够了。
还有人在回话时,爱说口头禅,诸如“岂有此理”“我以为”“肯定的”“当然了”“你说呢”,等等,不管这些口头禅与回话内容是否有关联,说多了都会影响回话的效果,而且容易被人当成笑柄。
……
Introduction

在人际交往中,与人沟通是不可缺少的。沟通是一种双向的互动活动。无论一方说了什么,另一方都应该有所回应、做出回话。这不仅仅是最起码的交际礼貌,也是延续沟通、促进融洽交谈的有效方式。
然而,回话并不只是单纯的回答,它还包括一些非语言信息的反馈,比如微笑、目光对视、点头示意、做手势等。确切地说,回话包括了回答、回应、回复、反馈等沟通形式,既可以表现在语言上,还可以表现在肢体动作上,更可以表现在书面语、网络交流工具上。
回话不是孤立存在的,它往往与提问相伴相随,也就是说,在沟通中,我们是有问有答的,回话只是其中一个重要的组成部分。所以,我们不能割裂地看待回话,如果认为只有单一的回答才是回话,那就是对回话的误解。
回话包含了主动回答和被动回答,主动回答表现为积极、热情、有针对性地回答对方的问题,知无不言,言无不实,表现出极大的坦诚;被动回答表现为冷淡、消极、逃避或有意识地转移话题,避开对方的问题。无论是主动回话还是被动回话,都是回话的常见表现形式。
通常,主动回话往往表现在与自己的利益、隐私无关的话题上,或回话者原本就是一个坦诚的人;被动回话往往涉及的是自己的切身利益,如个人隐私、自尊等,或回话者本人是一个不善于沟通、不愿意沟通的人。
回话是一门艺术,是互动沟通的关键组成部分。从本质上来说,回话就是沟通,沟通包含了回话。



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