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Jingdong book

女人的心理,男人的思维:玩得转的社交心理学

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女人的心理,男人的思维:玩得转的社交心理学

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★PUA高手绛妖精首次出书,知名恋爱讲师解析两性关系
实操型社交心理咨询师,形象佳气质好气场强大,犀利毒舌女王范儿。
绛妖精是情感社区知名女性PUA,在《男人装》设有专栏。懂男人更懂女人,用独特女性视角解析恋爱。


★数千名学员真实案例分享,分分钟搞定社交疑难杂症
作者有强大的人脉优势,有数量巨大的粉丝,QQ粉丝互动群已有十余个,总人数近万人。众多案例来自学员真实分享,绛妖精风格稀缺,讲实战,分享干货社交技能,操作性极强。


★媒体资源潮涌支持,配套视频即将面世
2014年9月绛妖精已经敲定两档重磅视频节目,分别是前罗辑思维合伙人申音的《怪杰》和《职来职往》嘉宾申晨的《申在江湖》,均可在线点击观看。
绛妖精长期活跃在YY社区,通过音频授课开设培训班已经超过6年,传授男女社交技巧,拥有相当数量的粉丝。作者的声音优势已经被用户很多的网络电台喜马拉雅电台看好,确定在喜马拉雅网站开辟个人电台强力主推。

海报:


Content Description

《女人的心理,男人的思维:玩得转的社交心理学》以结婚为目的的谈恋爱,就是对自己耍流氓!只有女人了解女人,也只有男人了解男人。这是一本讲两性社交心理的书,是资深女性PUA绛妖精集大成之作,涵盖两性交往的诸多方面,具有很强的实际操作指导能力。
与很多心灵鸡汤不同,本书有非常真实的案例,细节丰富,几乎都是日常能遇到的情况,有非常高的实际操作含金量。绛妖精点评犀利,表达到位,在点醒你的同时,更是提供稳准狠一学就会的社交技能!让你在实战中对症下药,读懂社交当中的异性心理,从此只赢不输。


Author Description

绛妖精,情感社区仅有的知名女性PUA、首届PUACN高峰论坛制作人、《妖精教你谈恋爱》制作人,《怪杰》、《申在江湖》嘉宾。
在结实的理论功底上,有着丰富的案例分析经验。以女性独特的视角解析恋爱,曾参与培训人员约千人以上。

Catalogue

第一章 关于社交,别人没告诉你的心理秘籍
第二章 详细到发丝的量化指标
第三章 初次约会的心理准备及战术方略
第四章 初次约会如何展示自我形象
第五章 怎么说,Ta才会听;如何听,Ta才会说
第六章 社交的关键:节奏感和安全感
第七章 如何从牵手发展到KISS
第八章 让女人永远心动的沟通技巧
第九章 男女的长久相处之道

Book Abstract

好的餐厅是约会成功的一半
心理便签:你很可能因为第一次选择餐厅的失败,而告别一段恋情。我们虽然不能样样做到最好,但一些低级错误还是要避免发生的。
男人第一次跟女人约会是十分重要的,如果你表现得好,女人很容易对你产生好感,如果你表现得不好,女人不会以为你是没发挥好,而是觉得你就是这样的。所以你很可能因为第一次选择餐厅的失败,而告别一段恋情。我们虽然不能样样做到最好,但一些低级错误还是要避免发生的。
地点选择
最好是选择西餐厅,法式餐厅。环境优雅一点的,实在不行中餐西做的新锐菜系也可以。
很多人都不是很重视第一次约会的地点,其实这个很重要,你是不是屌丝,一下就能看出来。
如:周末的时候某出版人约了一个姑娘吃饭,因为屡战屡败,让我和我老公一起,一来看看他有什么问题,二来,四个人话题多一些。
原计划是去我选的一个法式餐厅,但是没有订到位子,就让他自己找个地方,地址发过来的时候,是个云南菜,我之前去过,装修各方面还都可以。
到了之后,该出版人说换了,在对面的一个韩国烤肉,当时我就预感到,这个出版人没戏了,因为烤肉啊,火锅啊,都是成为情侣之后真的是去吃饭所选择的地方。约会的时候选个烤肉的地方,身上全是各种味儿,香香的美女,也变成臭臭的了,有优雅气质的帅哥,也变成臭臭的了。
到了之后他们已经点完菜了,当时已经1点半,大家都有点饿了,结果他把4个鸡蛋放到炉子那儿烤,又放了几个玉米。10分钟过去了,鸡蛋完全没有要熟的意思,我就说你是成心想饿死我是不是,本来就饿,还弄4个鸡蛋烤着,然后我对着一桌子肉流口水。
这个举动会让女人联想到,你不会为别人考虑,一点也不体贴。女人就是喜欢这样联想。
好容易玉米熟了,我递给美女,她说不吃,我说也是,哪有第一次吃饭,就啃玉米的,那点形象全都没有了。
他也不知道怎么想的,点的都是羊排、猪排、鸡翅,全都是要上手啃的。我真想说:我勒个去,你还让美女吃饭不啊。然后该出版人把肉包在生菜里面,张了好大的嘴,把这个生菜放进了嘴里。我旁边的美女,当时就把头低下,各种无奈。
我真想说,亲爱的出版人同学,您能稍微注意点形象吗?美女就坐在你对面,知道的以为你是吃饭呢,不知道的以为你要吃人呢。那个嘴那个大啊,胃都看到了。
你说吃个西餐不好吗?面对面,小口地吃肉,还可以很文雅地问一下,“感觉牛排怎么样,合口味吗?”
吃饭的时候还点了一个鳕鱼,上来的时候是已经烤好的,可以直接吃,结果叫了半天的服务员,也没人过来,这个出版人就把一盘子鳕鱼倒到炉子里了,这个时候服务员来了,说这个不用烤,可以直接吃,然后那个鳕鱼粘在炉子里,基本都不能吃了,而且看着还各种恶心。我真想说,你请姑娘吃饭,就不能去自己去过的地方,点自己点过的食物吗?
在韩国烤肉呢,你文雅点说话,也听不到啊。中间还隔着一个大火炉。想离近点都不行。
韩国烤肉的灯光是白的,西餐厅的灯光是昏黄的,白灯会让女人情不自禁有防范意识,根本就不能好好地沟通,而且这个灯光的颜色,照着人很丑。西餐厅就不会,昏黄的灯光,优雅的音乐,你抬头看女人她会含羞低头,这气氛,才是约会的气氛。
你在韩国烤肉那全都要变成泼妇,根本当不了淑女或是绅士,你叫服务员,在淑女或是绅士的音量范围内,服务员根本听不到,必须扯嗓子喊,有时候还得一边喊服务员一边喊给我拿点纸,恨不得整个餐厅的人都听到了,服务员才颠颠地过来给你拿纸。
你说,吃西餐不好吗?按个铃服务员就来了,规规矩矩站到你旁边,你可以很绅士很小声地跟服务员说,我要点餐巾纸。
你跟女人说话的时候,声音也会变得很绅士,不会大声喧哗,像个没有素质的人。
在高雅的西餐厅,你的用餐习惯也会变得高雅起来,最少不会把嘴张大到可以看见胃的程度,也不会扯着嗓子喊服务员,聊天的时候话题也自然会高雅起来,最少不会说,我妈在家院子里自己种了点儿黄瓜什么的,用的都是我家猫的便便,一会我给你拿点儿……
所以说细节决定成败,你在吃饭的时候流露的这些细节,根本就没有办法让女人喜欢上你。最后这位出版人去买单,我跟我老公给他说好话,说他这么好,那么好的。后来姑娘说,嗯,他是个好人,你们赶紧给他介绍一个吧。
再一次宣布失败了。
……

Introduction

绛妖精
我写这本书的初衷是改变中国人的生活方式。也许你们会觉得我可笑 但是这件事情如果没有人做 中国人的生活方式就会停滞不前,每个中国人都像是钉在木板上的螺丝钉 不敢跳出来跟另外一根螺丝钉打招呼,即便他觉得那根螺丝钉有多么的美好,他都不敢付诸行动。最多是跟距离自己最近的螺丝钉说上一句话,还要遭受周围的白眼。
我们就在这种环境下长大,导致我们根本不敢起来看看离我们五米远的另一根螺丝钉长什么样,我们有的时候需要走出那个我们所认为的舒适区。
我们为什么要认识其他的螺丝钉?
通过了解你不难发现 很多人身边的朋友大多由同事和同学组成,总在一起的也就是五个人左右。忙碌了一周相约过周末,一个要陪女/男朋友、一个要陪父母、一个说要加班、还有一个出差了。一圈电话打下来,发现自己还是只能抱着电脑唉声叹气地度过周末的美好时光。
试想你有五个圈子,一个圈子有三个朋友,这就有很多朋友了。虽然大家都很忙,但总会有人和你一起度过一个愉快的周末。
举个例子,小柯,男,大学刚毕业在中关村找到了一个合适的工作。去工作之前小柯的大学同学就说,当你推开办公室门发现全是男人的时候你就得哭了,女朋友想都不用想了。小柯无奈,只能硬着头皮前往新的工作环境。
转眼三年过去了,眼看周围都已成双成对,自己却是孤身一人。
朋友笑他眼光高,小柯说,我怎么高了啊,上大学的时候班里女生就少,好容易有几个还都有男朋友,工作以后更别提。全公司上下总共十个女的,有六个35岁以上而且已婚,两个有男朋友,还有一个就见过两次,还有一个,实在是不敢恭维。我眼光怎么高了?
这个也是中国剩男剩女越来越多的主要原因。
还有一个重要的原因是,很多中国人不善于跟异性交流,在中国的聚会,尽管有很多男人女人,但是在你眼里永远分两堆,一堆男人,一堆女人。如果有一个女人去男人堆里,那么女人堆的女人都会说,看,这个女人多风骚,哪有男人她去哪。试问有哪个女人愿意承受这样的社交压力。
男人堆里的男人相对好些,那也很少有男人主动在聚会中走到一个陌生女人面前说:“我想认识你。”
有些人不相信男人女人之间是有友情的,所以我们从小到大身边都是同性,那么问题就出现了。大部分人不善于跟异性交流,当你偶然认识一个让你心动的异性时,你想让她喜欢你,于是就试图讨好,因为我们不会其他方式,在学校没有人教我们怎样谈恋爱,在家里父母更不会说。问朋友,他跟你懂的差不多,我们只能用小时候妈妈对我们的方式来对待异性,给她买东西,带她吃好吃的,有好东西第一时间跟她分享,这样做了之后,有一天异性跟你说:“你很好,但是我不喜欢你!!!”
亲,我还要怎样做你才能喜欢我呢?于是你开始天天缠着她,给她打电话、发短信,她就算没有任何回应,我们也继续努力着,没有人告诉我们应该怎样去爱,没有人告诉我们应该怎样做才能跟她在一起。最后我们进入了黑名单,于是开始疑惑,我到底哪错了,她为什么不喜欢我?
本书就是告诉你,怎样让异性喜欢你,在社交场合中如何变得健谈,让周围人都喜欢你。这本书会教你一些真正实用的方法,让你变得受欢迎。


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