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Jingdong book

你真的懂我吗：思想往右，行为往左

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Books Psychology Applied Psychology

Jingdong book

你真的懂我吗：思想往右，行为往左

Name: 你真的懂我吗：思想往右，行为往左
Brand: Jingdong book
SKU: 3116052391
Price: 24.65 USD
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同步行为与非同步行为
冻结、逃跑与战斗反应
并不单纯的“点头”、“摇头”
“握手”也有奥妙
“会说话”的穿着打扮
吵架反映人的内心活动
人为什么容易上当受骗
饱含深意的“尖塔”、“连锁”手势
……
本书教你看清人的意识与自控能力是如何“较量”的。

Content Description

本书是心理学知识普及读本。本书结合大量生动、贴切的案例，系统讲解了怎样通过一个人的行为了解其思维的实用方法，告诉读者怎样才能更好地生活、怎样才能更好地与人交往、怎样才能在工作中游刃有余等等，做到思想和行为的高效统一。

Author Description

和力，编辑出身，为我社写过多种心理类和励志类图书。其作品文笔优美凝练，见解犀利独到，富有深刻的哲理性，深受读者喜爱。

Catalogue

第1章认识行为语言，了解行为心理
1.解读行为语言 // 3
行为语言是人的第二语言 // 3
了解距离对行为的影响 // 8
解读躯干行为语言的信号 // 16
面部语言的生动性 // 22
举手投足的语言 // 24
2.解读大脑行为 // 28
不要忘记我们的大脑 // 28
冻结、逃跑和战斗反应 // 31
有趣的“安慰”行为 // 36
“小动作”透露内心活动 // 44

第2章行为语言表现内心世界，透露真话与谎言
1.行为语言是人内心活动的外表再现 // 49
“指使”行为 // 49
并不单纯的“点头”和“摇头” // 52
2.真话、谎话学问大 // 56
说谎者的本能反应 // 56
通过细微行为轻松辨识谎言 // 62
人的同步行为与非同步行为 // 66
“不经意的话”是潜意识的真情流露 // 73
为什么人容易上当受骗 // 76

第3章面部的细微表情不容忽视
1.“察颜观色” // 83
读懂表情不简单 // 83
表情的调色板 // 87
嘴的行为变化 // 90
鼻子的“语言”不可忽视 // 94
眼神的动作 // 98
眉宇间的心情 // 103
2.笑容，最饱含深意的“温度计” // 109
解密真笑还是假笑 // 109
笑的方式有“深意” // 113

第4章行为语言中的态势表现
1.姿态中暴露的信息 // 121
坐姿识人不简单 // 121
站姿中的形象 // 127
别忽视了“快乐脚” // 133
2.手的影响力 // 136
人的另外“一张脸” // 136
饱含深意的“尖塔”和“连锁”手势 // 140
情感的“发送器”—手臂 // 144
不得不提的“握手”奥秘 // 148

第5章说话中透露的多样性
1.听话听音 // 155
幽默背后的潜台词 // 155
认清真谦虚还是假客套 // 158
过分强调的话可信度低 // 161
2.高低声中的差异 // 165
声音中能听出对方的心思 // 165
不能忽略“打招呼”背后的意义 // 172

第6章生活中行为与思想关联中的奥妙
1.富有表情话语中的人心 // 179
“特殊话语”见思想端倪 // 179
口头禅间接反映性格 // 185
“吵架”显现内心活动 // 190
2.富有表情“细节”中的个性 // 197
哭笑声中传情达意 // 197
闲谈中识人破绽 // 199
聊天时中识人破绽 // 202

第7章社交中行为与思想关联中的玄机
1.“会说话”的穿着打扮 // 207
衣装的特有价值 // 207
装饰品具有“延长自身”的特点 // 209
2.交际场上的表情与心理学 // 213
学会转移注意力 // 213
镇定谨慎，学会让步 // 217

Book Abstract

1.解读行为语言
行为语言是人的第二语言
人的行为应该与人的思想一致，但很多时候，很多人的行为却与思想背道而驰。究其原因，人是情感的动物。
有多年经验的心理学家认为，人的行为语言可以反映人的内心活动，在交往中学会解读行为语言来完成对人心理的“窥视”及影响和“操纵”并不难，即先“读心”再“攻心”。
“读心、攻心”技能可以有效地帮助人们快速达到了解人的行为与思想不一致的原因，也可以有效地达到了解他人内心活动并想出“对策”达到影响他人心理和行为的目的。下面，我们先来了解一下人的行为语言是什么。
人的行为语言具有普遍性。例如，当一个人紧闭双唇或紧锁眉头时，说明他可能遇到了麻烦或是什么地方出现了问题。这种在压力下表现出来的身体行为语言，是人的一种本能。行为语言从某种意义上讲是人的第二语言，是不通过嘴发声的“语言”。
那么，如何通过行为语言“读懂”人心呢？
（1）解密行为语言的特别信号
如果说普遍的行为语言是一种作用于每个人身上都是基本相同的语言线索，那么特别的行为语言就是身体的另外一种语言线索，它是一种专属于某一个体的相对比较独特的信号。解读这些独特的行为语言，对影响并“解读”他人心理来说十分重要。
例如，当我们发现自己十几岁的儿子在参加考试前有挠头或咬嘴唇的举动时，你应该知道他可能对此次考试十分紧张或没有做到准备充分，也就是说，他的挠头或咬嘴唇的行为是他用来缓解压力的特有动作。还有在做作业时，当他遇到不会的难题，他也会有此种行为。这种行为，他很有可能会一遍遍地重复做出。这说明他的压力不小，心情也处于烦躁之中。
所以,通过特殊的行为语言,我们大致可以判断出一个人的心理状态。
（2）培养超常的洞察力，就能做好“读心”再“攻心”
日常生活中，我们经常听到这样的话：
“我只是与丈夫争吵，没想到后来他竟然动手打我，而我之前竟然没有察觉到他会动手的可能。”
“我以为老板对我的工作很满意，但是没想到他却把我解雇了，而且没有任何理由。”
是的，上述这些人因为不曾对自己周围的世界进行过细致的观察，所以在如何观察他人的行为语言线索方面表现得略有缺失。
现实生活中，很多人都不去关注别人的行为和表情所发生的细微变化，所以看不到一个人的表情与行为可能与他的思想或目的大相径庭。
而对于拥有高超的洞察力并且想要掌握“读心”及“攻心”的人来说，被观察者的一举一动，对他们都十分重要。因为，无论在任何时间、任何地点、任何情况下，只要想运用“读心”及“攻心”策略“操纵”并影响他人，那么，必须首先做一个专心的聆听者和仔细的观察者。
人的观察力就像肌肉，用则发达，不用则萎缩。所以，只要你愿意花时间和精力，仔细观察你周围的世界，多学学心理学，“读心”及“攻心”的能力是可以提高的。你需要做的是让仔细观察、用心观察成为你生活中的一部分。人对周围世界的观察不应该是一种消极的行为，而应该是一种自觉的、投入的行为，是一种需要付出努力、精力和专注力方可练就的能力，同样，它也应该是一种需要长期训练才能获得的能力。
当然，仔细观察、用心观察还指要调动人的所有感官细致观察出现的任何行为语言，而不只是对视觉感官的全面观察。
有位心理学家养成了每次走进自己的公寓时都会深吸一口气的习惯，如果闻到“异常”，他会格外警惕。有一次，这位心理学家旅行回来后发现家里“回荡”着一股香烟的味道，他的鼻子已经先眼睛一步警示：这间屋子里来过人。最后证明，公寓维修处一名修理工曾进来维修过管道，由于心理学家走之前将屋子窗户全部关上，故修理工的衣服和皮肤上的烟味儿在这间屋子里“飘荡”了几个小时。幸运的是，他是一个受欢迎的“闯入者”，而不是一个想在房间作案的窃贼。
这件事说明，人要学会利用自己的所有感官，对身边的事物进行详尽的了解，尽管，这需要拥有超常的洞察力培养。
（3）注意他人的行为变化
一个人的行为变化在一定意义上也可说成是内心活动的外化表现，能反映出他或她在某种环境下的兴趣和意图。这些行为变化能够帮助观察者预测即将发生的事，或探知对方内心的活动。而高超的观察者更能快速“读懂”人心。
（4）“基线行为”与非基线行为
“基线行为”是人的一些常态行为，即常见的正常的行为语言发出的信号，比如大哭、大笑、托腮思考等。为了了解那些经常与你互动或交往的人的“基线行为”，你必须注意观察他们的常态，包括坐姿，手和脚放置的位置，站姿及面部常态表情，头的倾斜度，甚至包括他们放置自己物品的习惯，比如，他们通常会把钱包放在哪里、手表摘下后放到哪里等。因为人的“正常行为”和“重压下的行为”是有不同之处的。
比如，某个人本来非常开朗，见面时常滔滔不绝与你说话；但一段时间后再见，这人竟然不爱说话，而且常锁眉头，甚至你问他答，眼神也不似从前坦荡，这时你就要细致观察他了，因为他已经背离了原来的基线行为。
（5）尽量获取种信息
人的信息越多，越能提高“读心”的能力。人集合在一起的行为信号就像七巧板的各个板块，你拿到的板块越多，把它们拼好的可能性才越大，反之，拼成的图案会不完美。
举个例子，我们常见周围某人先是一副受重压困扰的样子，紧接着又做出一连串努力保持平静的行为。实际上，那个人一定正在某种难以扭转的“劣势”中挣扎，但他不想让周围人看出自己的“窘态”，于是竭力加以掩饰。
综上，一个人掌握了解读行为语言的必备要领，还需在实践中多加运用，这样你才基本具备了运用“读心”策略的条件，进而才能够真正影响并“操纵”他人的心理，即“攻心”。

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